On Tuesday my best friend, Kelli received a call from Robin at Rainbow Kids (an adoption agency who specializes in adoptions for babies and children with Downs Syndrome) asking her if she was still interested in adopting a child with DS. (Kelli had contacted her 2 years ago and then reconfirmed her desire through email this summer). She said "yes"!
Robin then told her about a little girl who was born on Sunday, October 9, 2011 in Washington. She is just days old! Later she talked to the baby's birth father who let her know that they very much wanted her to be adopted by Kelli and Wayne.
Needless to say...Kelli has been on a serious roller coaster ever since!
I don't know every emotion she has experienced over the past 2 days but I know most of them through experience and also through being with her a lot as she anticipated phone calls and to shop!
On Wednesday evening it was determined that we (she and I) would go to pick up "Baby Bella" as her brothers had lovingly named her on Thursday morning. Here is the day that Kelli will always remember as the day she became a mom to an Angel little Girl!
I arrived home from work around 8:40am to find Kelli at my house. She was leaning in the back of her car showing her boys all of the clothes, etc that we had bought for the baby the night before. The baby shoes really got them excited.
After my shower, Kelli and I made 1 more trip to her house (her 3rd in 20 min) and then at 9:22 we were on the road to this new baby, a 4 hour drive. On the way we talked about possible names and if this would really happen. Kelli then said "I can't name her till I see her and know she is mine".
At 12:57 we pulled into the General Hospital. To say that Kelli was nervous was an understatement! Within 20 minutes the Notary, Becky arrived and started paper work for custody and medical release. While Becky traveled to get birth mom & dad's signatures at their home we went to see the baby. However, the nurse advised us that we could not see her without a birth parent. No worries, we completely understand and respect the rules. This is where we learned that the baby eats well and is not floppy which usually is common with DS babies. Yay. We also learned that she only has a 25% chance of having Downs. We will know when the chromosome test comes back in 10 days. "What?" "She might not have DS?" "Oh my goodness, what does this mean to the birth parents?"
We then went to the main waiting room and waited for Becky to come back with the official signatures. Oh please! What seemed like days finally wound down to be about an hour and half later Becky returned with the properly signed forms.
Shew!
Now to wait for the birth father, to come to the hospital to walk the baby out and then do a "hand off" to Kelli so Kelli & Wayne can do a private adoption. That way they could all do the fastest and simplest adoption possible.
Originally he had said he'd be there at 2pm. However, he really wanted someone to stay with his wife while he carried out this difficult, loving duty. At about 4:15pm, he arrived. The nurse sat us all down to discuss what comes next as far as health for a new baby and how to avoid RSV and all those new born worries. Her birth father was then advised that the chromosome test may come back negative..."will this change your decision?" He advised that they had made their decision and would not care what the outcome was. He doesn't even want to know the results. This of course brought tears to the birth father, Kelli & I. I was touched by his humble, broken spirit. Kelli & the nurse, Donata then headed to meet her new baby girl. However, I did not follow Kelli as was planned, instead I knew I needed to express my love for this selfless father. The next few minutes went slowly and quickly and will leave a forever impression on my heart and also my reason for this blog. I want Kelli to know the intimate conversation we had.
First, I shook this fathers hand and thanked him for giving his daughter a better life. I told him how grateful I was that he was making my best friends life so blessed. He sobbed. He then choked out...we have a boy. ...we were so exited to have a girl
...and then to find out she was sick.... My wife said we can not abort her, that would be wrong. I am still holding his hand however, I have now cradled it in both of my hands. I said I know how much your heart must be breaking and I am so sorry. I know it is hard and yet my friends life is so full and her heart is overflowing to have this baby girl as her own. He cried. He then said...I am not a young man...I am 53. I will probably die in 20 years or so. If this baby was healthy like our son then no problem. Our daughter would be 20 years old and able to carry on without me. BUT, she will need special care. I can just see her in a corner rocking. I don't want that. I don't know how to care for her. I need a healthy baby to run to me and help me when I am older. My son is 2 1/2 years old. He runs to me and begs me to take off my work uniform so he knows I won't leave to work again soon. I wanted that for our girl. By now he has let my hand go. He is a broken man, with broken dreams. He tells me that his wife is beautiful. She has long thick black hair and big beautiful lips. I console him the best way I know how but I feel limited with words. I thank him for blessing Kelli's life again. I tell him that she will be well cared for. He says it seems they will be able to care for her and provide for her every need...I assure him they will. He verifies that they have good medical insurance. He states they are poor and unable to cover her special costs. He cries. I cry. I thank him again for being such a good man. I tell him that words cannot express how much Wayne & Kelli will love their daughter and give her all they can. This seems to satisfy and comfort him. I shake his hand and give him a hug. His heart is still broken and his dreams crumbled around him but I think he feels he can move on. His child will be cared for in a way he does not feel capable of.
I excused myself and then met the most beautiful little girl I've ever seen. She has since been named Amelia Nicole. "Amy". This baby Amy is my vicarious joy! She has brought sunshine to my best friends world and thus mine!
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| Kelli holding her new little Angel. "I can't believe she's mine"! |
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| Being an Auntie to this little blessing is so amazing! |
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| Amy is enjoying her first bottle from Mommy! |
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| Yay we are home sweet home! |
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| Aaaah...to be home! |
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| I am hungry but I am tired too! This traveling all day stuff is exhausting! |
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| Daddy's little girl. His love is tangible! |
I am grateful for a God who knows better than we do! One who sends the right baby to the right family even if it isn't in a conventional way. He knows best. Thank you God that there are still miracles on Earth. Thank you for Baby Amy! May you protect her and keep her safe on this journey called life. Help us all to return to your loving grace and presence!
